Undergoing liberation

I've been working on this post for about a week.  

It looks like large numbers of people are now undergoing liberation.  It's quite possible that this is happening on many more levels than we realize.  We hear on the media that whole countries of people in the Arab world have been liberating themselves from their repressive or self-serving leaders.  This in itself is huge and nearly unprecedented.  Here's a great article discussing the phenomenon.  It says, "The closest historical analogy is the revolutions of 1848, the Springtime of the People in Europe. That revolution erupted in France, then hit the Italian states and German principalities, and eventually reached the remote outposts of the Austrian empire. Some 50 local and national uprisings, all in the name of liberty."  It helps to get some historical perspective on something so incredible that's happening, because it does make we wonder whether anything like this has ever happened before.

But I like to think that even more than this is happening.  And it makes me feel good.  Everything is energy, invisible then visible.  I wonder what the energy that created this liberation looks like.  Is there a DNA for liberation?  Is liberation a blue or orange flame inside the hearts of the people?  I don't exactly remember what it feels like to be part of a mass liberation, but I can imagine that it is exhilarating and feels like power in the belly. 

On a personal level, I feel like I have been gradually and continuously experiencing my own liberation.  It's not smooth, but it is definitely progressive.  What I notice is that there's a cycle to it, of feeling good and enjoying things like the sky, the birds, my lover's skin, delicious food, the movement of my hips as I walk, hot tea, positions of rest, sensations of stretching, and the warm assurance of seeing a smile reflected to me out of the field of possibilities that create each moment.  And then a little thought will insinuate itself into my awareness, some little negative thought that I might not have particularly noticed before, but because my awareness is attuned and this thought is in contrast to the rest of what is happening, I'll notice it.  And being an inquisitive creature concerning my own habitat of being, I'll notice it some more.  The seemingly minor thought then reveals itself to be the tip of some sort of iceberg.  And that's a good analogy because it tends to be something from the past that's preserved, though I wouldn't say it's exactly frozen, since it seems to have life and movement to it.  But it causes me to get to work on it, using tapping, or making sounds, or dancing it, or meditating with the intention of dissolving it in light or passing it down into the earth or asking loving invisible beings to help me be free from it. Or all of the above.  


Some of the thoughts and feelings that I have been processing this way are core and essential things - like the feeling, "I am unlovable."  Another popular one asking for liberation is, "I am alone."   I woke up with that one the other day.  Then sitting in the hot tub I was feeling that isolation and looking around at the world, so the world said, "You can't be alone, because you are part of this earth, which loves and surrounds and supports you."  To which I said, "Okay, but what about cold and hunger and pain?"  And the world said, "I totally support you in abundance."  And I replied, "But I was born into this body and it felt unwell and then my father didn't know how to love me."  

This was a sad thought.  So I felt into that, knowing what I know now that he did love me, and from this perspective I saw that his energy, the flow from his core being into the human expression, was distorted, wounded, blocked.  Since he has passed from this world, I felt like it was okay for me to go in and fix it, to straighten it out, unblock it.  And as I thought these thoughts, I wondered, "Where did this begin?"  My mind saw my grandparents, and I felt some of the same kind of distorted, blocked expression along with a natural love of the innocence and beauty that is a child.  I imagined a line of people going back into Europe, their lives marked by oppressive and dangerous social forces, living with dreams for better lives for themselves and their children.  This happened very very fast, not so much as thoughts but little flashes, accompanied by searing emotional pain that shot through my body and made me gasp.  I panted and cried and made some long tones.  I felt the need to get up and stomp on the ground in my bare feet.  Then I came inside and stood in the shower and a roaring came up from the middle of me.  I roared and coughed.  Until it sort of subsided and I felt tired.  I can only take so much of this.  


Later, I don't remember if it was that day or the next, we went for a walk.  I had been vacuuming, and as we walked along, as I felt a heaviness clinging on me, I thought about the vacuum as a tool to vacuum off whatever needed to go.  I imagined a vacuum cleaner that sucked the darkness, the blockages, out of the core of me.  It was an effective visualization.  Maybe it moved enough of that heaviness, along with the walking, along with the love that my partner continuously offers, along with his arm to balance me, so that the thought could come - Ah, I need to meditate.  And since we were walking along a straight road and he was watching, I just closed my eyes and meditated as we were walking.  

In the meditation I felt and saw my light body, and I let my attention hang out in the places where it had been dimmed.  I felt the energy above my head, and down into the earth, and all of my chakras doing their lovely chakra station energy exchange-emit-accept thing that it is their nature to do, and this nice orb of light spinning around, and my partner's light doing the same thing, and these lovely light orbs overlapping as we walked along.  Happily, this made him turn and smile and kiss me.  And I've been pretty much feeling great since then.  


But the process goes on.  Even as I have been writing this.  I had to stop a couple of paragraphs up to do a little tapping on the thoughts that came up around me writing, "I need to meditate."  There were some effects of people being judgmental around spiritual practices.  Not doing it their way, not doing it enough - that kind of thing.  Luckily it was fairly easy to move through just now.  Love and appreciation of myself even though I felt judged.  

I think the current ease with that one might be because a couple of weeks ago I made a big declaration.  I stated aloud that I disavowed, declined, resigned, rejected, and annulled any all associations, initiations, vows, inductions and the like to any church, order, cult, religion, government, tribe, society, etc.  This was liberating, and I had no idea it was going to happen.  It just suddenly bubbled up from inside of me after I was feeling an unpleasant feeling.  I was hanging out with this unpleasant feeling, and then the thought popped into my head and out came this giant declaration that seemed to stretch back (and maybe forward?) into lifetimes of experience as a human.  Wow. 


So, it seems that the energy of liberation is a real force in the world.  It feels like it's available, it's spreading, and it is more possible than ever for anybody who wants it, to breathe into themselves the fresh air of renewal through liberation from old patterns and habits and beliefs.  Doing that feels like a contribution to the collective.  Anybody who makes themselves a better person, a clearer channel for love and light, raises up the whole.  This is very well articulated by Peggy Black as she offers messages from her "team" of spirit helpers. Here is a recent message she pasted on facebook that I enjoyed.  

I will close this post with a well-used blessing: 

May I be free
May you be free
May all beings, in all worlds, be free

With much love, light, acceptance, appreciation, gratitude, and joy
Julie