Eating for evolution

I've been wanting to write about food so I'm just going to write and see what happens.  The last thing I ate was a Dove dark chocolate truffle which was pretty yummy and also came out of a big dark red heart-shaped metal tin.  Which was a love gift I got on, you guessed it, Valentine's day.  I think that love is the best kind of food for our being.  But I find it's easier to feel the love when my body is feeling good, and my body feels better when I give it some kinds of food rather than others. 

I'm also drinking a cup of yummy herbal tea made of nettles and dandelion and oatstraw and mint and a bunch of other stuff.  This is a tea that tastes good and I believe is good for me, based on information I got from reading New Menopausal Years : The Wise Woman Way, Alternative Approaches for Women 30-90, by Susun Weed.  I was interested in this book because when I was younger, my friend Erin told me about another of her books, Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year, and I used the information in that book to help me help my body get ready for giving birth.  I had a rough pregnancy, and after seeking lots of help from doctors, midwifes, and healers to get through it, it was the information in that book about taking vitamin E to heal a placental abruption that I believe ultimately got me back on track.  To a wonderful natural birth and easy and healthful post-natal experience.  So I trust this woman's information, and she says that nettles is a great herb for menopausal women because of its mineral rich properties.  

It's a cool story how I discovered this tea.  Last year, I had to go to Portland often to bring my son Casey to his orchestra rehearsals.  I got an email from Groupon one day that advertised a store in Multnomah Village.  I didn't get the Groupon, but I did investigate and discover that there is this cool neighborhood not too far from where the rehearsals were.  So one afternoon I found my way to Multnomah Village and browsed around in the stores. One store that was selling some beautiful clothes and shoes made in Israel was offering cups of tea to the customers as we came in.  And I tried two of these teas they were offering, and it turned out that they were made by one of the employees there.  The teas are called Possiblitea, they come loose leaf in a tin, and the one I like is called Daily Dose.  I noticed that drinking a cup of this tea before bedtime helped me sleep better.  And it feels good to be consuming a local product. 

It's hard to pinpoint because there is so much going on in life all the time, and I have made so many changes, but it seems that mid-life is bringing a particular kind of change and process that asks me to be more mindful about what I put in my body.  

One of the things that I was looking into recently was having a more alkaline diet.  I came to this discovery after reading an article in the New York Times about calcium and osteoporosis.  The article observed that a high protein diet, including the dairy products that are generally recommended to support bone health, might actually contribute to osteoporosis by making a person's body more acidic.  This is because the acid created in metabolizing these foods must be neutralized in the body, and the body does this by pulling calcium out of our bones, or at least using up the calcium that's around and not putting it into bones.  (Probably this explanation is not well-stated, but as I said in my very first blog entry, I am not a scientist).  Then it was noted that in Asian countries in which the people eat almost no dairy products, but do eat lots of vegetables, they don't have the trouble with osteoporosis that we have over here.  

This fits with other information that I've seen concerning the effects of inflammation as being harmful in the body in myriad ways, including heart disease.  So I was reading about this here and there on the internet, and reading one person's comment that the easiest way to change was to just change one meal a day at first.  I liked that idea, and the idea that felt good to me was to change some of my breakfasts.  

I decided to eat miso soup with seaweed for breakfast.  This is a very easy way to give myself a super alkalizing dose of nutrition with no cooking.  Here's how it's done: First I go down to my garden and cut a few small leaves of swiss chard, which has survived there all winter.  I wash the leaves and cut them into little bits so the boiling water can cook them on contact.  I put the leaves in a bowl and put in some dried seaweed, usually wakame.  Then I pour boiling water over the veggies.  The wakame expands like crazy and turns a beautiful green, while the chard also deepens in color.  Pretty soon it's a stew!  Then I add about a tablespoon of miso and stir it all in.  I think the best miso is a low salt organic miso called Jorinji that is made in Portland and I have only seen at Uwajimaya.  (If you have never been to Uwajimaya in Beaverton, check it out! It's a huge and fun Asian grocery store).  Then what really makes this soup taste fabulous is adding some kimchi, and, if I have some, a little lime juice!  This is a super alkalizing probiotic feast!  

Also I've found that almost any green will be quite edible by cutting it up in little bits and pouring boiling water over it - so I've used kale, parsley, cabbage (not the thick parts), and spinach to make soup.

Here are some pictures of the fun transformation of wakame.  I didn't put anything else in, just to show what happens.  Took about 90 seconds to do this:  

Wakame expanded - veggie from the sea!

Pretty cool, eh?  So, getting back to my theme here, I think that eating well supports evolution.  A few years ago a sweet young man named Julian was living in Salem and dancing with my group sometimes.  He was really into having only raw food.  One night he said that the thoughts you think and the food you eat are both important, but the food is more important.  Well that may have been true for him, but I have to say that I've known a few people who were very fastidious about what they ate but not necessarily in a great mood most of the time.  I've found that the thoughts I think are certainly the most important thing that I'm feeding myself at any time.  But choosing good food makes it easier to think good thoughts, and thinking good thoughts about the food I eat sure makes the whole deal go better!  So I'm grateful to Julian for bringing this to my attention. 

Here's a gorgeous video that helps with thinking wonderful thoughts.

Speaking of good thoughts, here's another thing I want to share:

This is the wetland in the back of Dave's property.  Isn't it stunning?  At night about a million geese roost here and we hear them honking all night. And this is the hub of some kind of willow that grows on the east side of this fantastic seasonal pond:

You have to tromp through some high grass to get to it, but it's a cool little hidey place in there!  I am having lots of fun with my camera since I started this blog.  And sunshine is so precious in the winter in Oregon.  These things are as delicious as the best, most healthful foods.  

I am really looking forward to a good growing season this year, and doing gardening together with Dave.  He knows lots more than I do about growing things, and has a nice big plot where he's been growing food and tossing compost for twenty years.  Yum.  

Here's one last picture to let people know that spring is just about here: 

Thanks again for reading my blog.  I hope it brings you some happiness, reminds you to eat well, think enjoyable thoughts, and feel hopeful about spring. 

May peace, freedom, and contentment prosper in this world. 

- Julie 

Healing and love

It soon will be Valentine's day and lots of people are thinking about love and those they love or what it means or how to create more love.  I'm enjoying more love than I ever experienced.  The more love I feel, the more my perceptions seem to expand, and the less willing I am to spend much time feeling pinched off or in the shadow of unpleasant emotions.  So, I noticed a little insecurity inside myself.  Nothing big, just these little thoughts that crop up and ask, "Do you really love me?  Do you still love me?"  I wondered how to release that, since it obviously doesn't serve me or my relationship, and has nothing to do with anything going on in current reality.  


I happened to get a nice message from Shiloh Sophia talking about self love.  And I thought, "Oh yeah, self love is the answer to insecurity!"  Convincing myself that somebody else loves me is not going to kick it, since the insecurity is like a sneaky crevice - not too wide, but very very deep - and some of the love that gets poured into me leaks down into the crevice and disappears into the dark.  


Self love is cool.  I used to say an affirmation inside my head, and it's not too tricky: "I love myself!"  That helped.  Self love is a big project.


Another thing that I've been doing a lot in the past year or so is using Emotional Freedom Technique.  This is a clearing method for removing and remodeling unwanted patterns.  Part of it is tapping on a series of points on your upper body, but what you are doing while you tap is, in a sense, radical.  You identify and really notice what it is that you're feeling that you'd rather not feel any more (this alone is a counterintuitive and very powerful tool), and then you say to yourself, "Even though I have this feeling of insecurity (or anxiety or sadness or whatever it is), I deeply love and accept myself."  That's radical, because rather than being at odds with the emotion, situation, or sensation, you are accepting it, accepting yourself with this experience.  It's a compassionate response.   And then you go through the tapping, which seems to rewire something in you or distract you - I don't know, but when you finish the tapping you take a deep breath and check in with where that feeling is at.  Usually it's changed.  And you do it again on another aspect until you feel done for now.  It's pretty cool - there's a free instruction manual on it on the internet and I would recommend checking it out for those who want more emotional freedom!


This week I had an appointment with the dentist to get a crown on a back molar.  I put it off for a few years but the dentist convinced me that a crack in the tooth was getting a little longer.  Like most people, I don't relish a trip to the dentist.  So beforehand I was trying to come up with things to appreciate about the experience.  I thought about how lots of people don't have access to this kind of health care.  And then I thought, "This dentist is the greatest f**ing genius dentist in the world!"  Even though I had no idea whether or not that was true at all, it felt pretty good.  Nonetheless, there were times that I was tense sitting there.  I brought my ipod and listened to some music while the dentist and his assistant were working.  It took a long time to prepare everything - they had to make impressions of the teeth and numb my tooth.  Twice.  But once they succeeded in getting the area sufficiently anesthetized, I did relax and was able to appreciate how the dentist and his assistant worked together very smoothly and incredibly fast to get the thing drilled off.  It was nice to see that and nice to have them working towards getting out of my mouth!  After the drilling was done, I enjoyed looking at the assistant's ear with her pearl earring in it.  Her back was turned and she was working on the temporary crown, and there was the line of the bottom of her hair, and her beautiful little ear.  It's possible to derive tremendous pleasure from appreciation of small things.  I'm not sure that's quite love, but it is definitely healing.  


The beautiful pears in the picture up there are from my yard last summer.  I think they look like the epitome of a lush, fruitful, prosperous reality.  Not only that but for some reason there is a pink blossom in the top left of the picture.  It's a mystery what that's doing there in the time of summer when the pears are that big, except that flowers are sweet and sexy and exude flower essence.  I don't know much about that, but I feel that it's subtle and offering balance for those that stop to feel it.  

Recently I was reading out of Divine Nourishment by Mary Lane, and she described a journey into a crater in Hawaii to collect flower essences.  While in the crater, she communed with the spirit of a rare plant that grows there, and it told her that there were two other plants there that would work together to support a spiritual practice of restoring the balance of the masculine and feminine energies inside a person.  I was moved by this very poignant story of information for healing and expansion being revealed in an unconventional way.


A few days ago David and I worked in my yard pruning trees and trimming ivy.  He is an awesome tree pruner!  He made a huge pile of branches in my front yard.  Things there are looking good now and feeling ready for spring.  It feels like a great clearing out, making way for new growth, light, air, expansion.  He told me the plants appreciate this attention, and would explode with beautiful new energy as a result.  Plus we got dirty and sweaty and we had so much fun neither of us could believe it. 


I'm going to end this soon, with a part of a poem from Rumi that I read at dance the other night.  I was looking for something about self love, and I found these:

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.  

      **

We are the mirror as well as the face in it.
We are tasting the taste this minute
of eternity.  We are pain
and what cures pain, both.  We are
the sweet cold water and the jar that pours.

     **

This moment this love comes to rest in me,
many beings in one being.
In one wheat grain a thousand sheaf stacks.
Inside the needle's eye a turning night of stars.

    **

I am so small I can barely be seen.
How can this great love be inside of me?
Look at your eyes. They are small
but they see enormous things.

Happy Valentine's day to all you lovers of self, lovers of life, lovers of lovers, lovers of what is and what could be and what was - acceptance, appreciation, gratitude, joy, love.  So be it!

Bumps on the road

Sometimes it feels like there are bumps on the road to evolution.  On a recent morning I had a dream in which my mother came crowding into my bed and discovered all kinds of bugs there.  She uncovered various little nests of spiders and dead leaves that were hiding along the edge of my bed, and her continued focus on these things annoyed me.  My situation there with her prevented me from going out to play.  I woke up feeling agitated and upset.  Sometimes I will remember a dream like this, and I figure it's telling me something, so I try to pay attention.  

I think that on the path of healing and evolution there's a process of uncovering, releasing, clearing out.  Sometimes I hesitate to attend to the little moods that come over me because I think I have done plenty enough of that.  But I've also trained myself to be present with what is.  And I notice that bumps and moods keep coming, and that the content of the moods has its own story, its own wisdom.  I thought for awhile about what that morning's dream might have to tell me.  In a meditation that evening, I reviewed it and imagined cleaning out all around that bed and allowing my mother to rest in it, while I went off to swim outside.  That felt good.  I also think that there's a message in the imagery of cobwebs and spiders eggs and leaves hiding behind my bed.  I was at peace and she came and found these things.  I felt that she was focusing unnecessarily on negative things, but I sensed that my allowing her into my dream to do this was telling me that part of me is harboring squeamish and persnickety feelings.  I would like to be at ease, and in acceptance of myself and others. And I would like to pass the acid test of being able to be in complete ease and confidence in the presence of my mother.  Yikes!! 

Don't get me wrong, my mother is a lovely person, but she just can't help having a few (well, maybe more than a few?) itsy bitsy judgments that she makes about, well, everything.  She's a discerning individual.  Discernment is an important skill, but its big sister is acceptance.  And the class president in this little community of skills is appreciation.  Being in appreciation actually changes our brain chemistry, and maybe it even reforms our DNA.  (Check that out - it's called epigenetics.)  So I seek to often be in appreciation of what is - not that hard, mostly, since we live in beautiful and amazing world.  But sometimes another kind of mood can cloud my ability to be open hearted and in wonder and appreciation about the things that are happening around me.  


As I said, I like to honor those moods and feelings with expression, inquiry, love, and acceptance.

What really moved me past the mood of that dream was the dance I did the following evening.  I hold space on Thursday evenings for people to come to my small studio and dance.  We dance to wonderful recorded music that I put together in a mix for the event, and it's a free form experience of safety, creativity, reverence, and cutting loose.  Last week, what was especially wonderful was having a some new people come in to share the experience.  An entirely new and lovely person called me that morning and got directions to come to the dance, and old friend came back who has suddenly reappeared, smiling, into my life, and another dancer returned from overcoming cancer to dance again with renewed joy bursting out of his being.  Plus a warm and lively regular dancer, and me.  Funny, I thought up to 1/2 hour before the dance that maybe I should cancel because no one would show up.  That sure was wrong!  Instead, we opened with a centering exercise, acknowledging our awareness and our body wisdom, and off we went into stretching, moving, breathing, tuning in, and rocking out! What often happens for me is that after several fast songs to which I am bopping, jumping, swirling, dipping, reaching - whatever, you know, it's a full body response to the music - at the end of the set there will be a slower song, something deep or tender or spacious or reflective.  By this time, my body is all loosened up, my mind is freed, and something happens that allows me to channel the most spirited and delicious energy into the dance.  

So, on that night, the next song was, "Film III (Live)" by Canadian avante garde cellist/singer Jorane.  This is one of those songs that for me feels very understated yet passionate.  During the song I really let go.  Moving physically and emotionally, without really thinking about it, I was pushing the frustration and stuckness right out of my chest and throat.  Making room to replace these things with a sense of reverence.  Then late in the second half of the dance, one person took another's hand, and after a bit, all five of us were holding hands and swaying and ducking in and out and laughing laughing until the music stopped and we just hugged one another in a spontaneous recognition that we are alive and life is sweet.  Finally, as we always do, we ended sitting in a circle in silence, and I felt so grateful.  That state of appreciation that I seek to return to again and again enveloped me, the group, and the night.  Yes.  

Here's a poem I wrote a few years ago from a state of deep and wide appreciation:

PRETEND WHAT IS TRUE

Open a door onto a world of wonder.
A soft, humming jungle world that glows in damp fecundity
while scents of green hover in clouds
that stream around us as we walk.

Open a door onto a world
where smooth bodied creatures link arms and share damp secrets
in downy beds of night,
and great ferny trees rise from the loam like arrows
their branches fanning out emerald
against the startling blue sky.

Open a door onto a world where clouds gather in magnificent tufts
blanketing the sky in every shade of pale
until vapor spills over into rain,
covering every leaf and blade of grass
in a bath of freshness.

Open a door onto a world where fruits
take every shape and color - crisp, tart, juicy
they fill the belly until sleep comes.

Open a door to see that these creatures know beauty -
they make music of every variety
and build monuments of stone and glass
in delicate symmetry with unfathomable detail
rising like impossible caverns from the ground.
 
A world whose air is filled with insects and birds
whose very earth is teeming with fantastic life too tiny to see
but pulsing continuously and silently like blood flow, or air.

Open a door onto a world, a world whose invisible essence
is as powerful as its highest trees or wildest tempests
a world with heart, and the heart of this world
shines through it like sunlight through ice
everywhere sparkling
even in the starry blanket of night.

Open a door.
This is our world.

Well, thanks, readers, I think maybe this blog entry is long enough, though it makes think of lots more things to say.  Catch you next time, then.