I've known for a long time that we see what we are looking for in the world. And since I have been looking for love and beauty and feeling expanded, and since I have really focused on these aspects of my experience, I have been getting payback!! Every day I have had some kind of experience of healing, loving, and being loved.
The photo up top here is of a crystal heart surrounded by some other beautiful minerals. They are on the windowsill in my dance studio. The window looks out at a little fish pond. I love that I have a dance studio. I love the fish pond, and I love the fish. The dance studio is called Goldfish Studio, and every week, marvelously evolving people come here and dance their hearts out with me. What a gift to be in such beauty, such physicality, such musical and creative flow, what breath, what pulse, what excitement, what uninhibited joyous sensuous exclaiming affirmation of our vitality, of our divinity -- that's right, grounding the divine into the fluid of time as we dance. Surely there will be some more blogs about that!
But right now I am excited to launch a blog. And to sit down in the studio and see right off the subject for the picture that will begin my blog! That crystal heart was a gift from my lover, David, and though I didn't quite realize at first that he gave it to me, once I woke up and looked in the lovely little walnut box in which he placed that beautiful object, it shone out to me and seemed of its own accord to gather the other stones which were hiding in another box four inches away (and unbeknownst to me) and led me to put it in a prominent place on the windowsill where I sit to watch the sun rise. It's a talisman to love.
I want to offer thanks to the other blogging women (for some reason they all happen to be women) who have inspired me recently with their own wonderful blogs and caused me to want to do this. I'm new to this but I think you can see the blogs I follow on a sidebar. But anyway, I am grateful and inspired to launch.
And when I started, the blogspot program offered an "ethereal" background that happened to have the silhouette of a hummingbird on it. Which is appropriate because there is a hummingbird who has been hanging out in the top of the tree in my back yard even though it is January. Did you know hummingbirds sing? It's a very throaty multi-toned high sweet call. I feel blessed to have a hummingbird who hangs out in my yard. When I sit in my hot tub or go outside, and it's there, I say hello and tell it how beautiful it is and how much I love it. I think that's why it's here. Which goes back to what I was saying about seeing what we are looking for in the world. I'm looking for beauty, finding beauty outside myself and seeing it reflected back to me, but the secret is that in looking for beauty I am making beauty inside myself and that's why it's appearing everywhere. I think that's evolution. I'll probably explain more about that later on.
But for now, here's a beautiful thing I saw this morning: I sat in the back of the car while my living example of love, David, picked up his older son from a dentist appointment and brought him back to college. As soon as I saw that young face this morning, I saw a sweetness there, and then he got in the car, and the two of them talked as we drove all over the place to get a phone fixed and then bring him back to school. And what I saw between the two, talking, was love. I could not hear much of what they were saying because of the stereo playing, and I'm pretty sure it was nothing that unusual - stuff about classes, technology, video games - just stuff. But what was beautiful to me was the ease and love and support between these two. A father who loves and accepts and admires his son, and a son who knows that and loves and accepts and admires his Dad. And I acknowledge that I could see this, appreciate it, and bask in its glow because I was looking for it. I know what it is, I appreciate it. I've known plenty of examples where I didn't see this because it was hard to find inside the noise, or I wasn't looking for it, wasn't ready, whatever. But now I can see it, I can appreciate it, and maybe my appreciation is an amplifier of that beautiful stuff. It sure can't hurt.
The reason I can see and appreciate the love in that relationship is because of my own evolution, my healing process, my journey, my practice. And I'm going to write about that too. Again, to mark and marvel, and also to inspire, in case there's somebody who wants to heal themselves and can use a nudge, or is healing and growing and appreciates a reminder that it works and it keeps going and you are not alone. Because sometimes it can seem difficult. We all have places inside ourselves that have been wounded and we can think that there is an absence of love, support, and beauty. There are painful experiences, which seem to be self-perpetuating. Like attracts like. But they are just stuck energy, they are not true, and I keep moving through and out of these little squalls of sorrow into the broad open of the sky and the sun and the greening up of spring on its way. I would love everyone else who wants to do that to go ahead and do it too! If I can be of service by example or with specific information, I wish to offer that.
It is my intention to offer this blog to be of inspiration to myself, my friends, and anyone else who can use it. In gratitude,
Julie
